The English language has a whole smörgasbord of dirty words to choose from, but some of them aren’t great at best, and shockingly unsexy at worst.

All of this means that sending filthy texts comes with more than a few dilemmas. Do you say “tits” or “boobs”? Maybe you’re a fan of the tamer, more clinical terms, like “breasts.” Hell, maybe you love “mammaries!” Randomly, Stanford University — yes, that Stanford University — has a PDF list with hundreds of slang terms for dicks, ranging from the everyday (“prick,” “cock,” “dong”) to the downright disturbing (“the sticky grenade,” “the ground squirrel”).

Taste is obviously subjective, but the discerning users of the AskRedditAfterDark subreddit seem to agree that some terms are guaranteed boner-killers.

“I often see people here on Reddit use the word ‘udders’ for breasts,” reads the opening message, “and I just find it extremely, intensely unsexy. ‘Gooning’ for masturbation is a close second. What is your least sexy sexy word? Edit: I just saw someone use ‘goon stick,’ and that’s definitely getting a spot on the top list too.”

The replies came in thick and quick, and some of the choices were pretty niche, like the top-rated comment: “‘Grool’ being used to describe a woman’s fluids.” It’s not hard to see why this is considered a gross descriptor, given that “gruel” is the sloppy, tasteless sludge those poor kids were forced to eat in Oliver Twist.

A few other titty-related terms got the chop, too: “chesticles” and “milkers” were both big no-nos, and to continue the bizarre trend of comparing women’s bodies to cows, “beef curtains” got a hard pass, too. Weirdly, dirty talk is absolutely packed with farm animal metaphors. “Breeding” received an honorable mention, with one “former farm boy” chipping in to add: “I have used that term specifically for livestock my whole life, it just feels weird hearing it as a human sexual term. I imagine our vet with an arm condom, or his assistant with a bull-sized fleshlight / cum bucket.”

It was bad news for baby talk fans as well, as “cummies” — definitely a term that should only be used ironically — and “cunnie” (is this cutesy talk for cunnilingus? Or are people seriously using this term to refer to vaginas?) made it onto the list as well.

More than a few users pointed out that guys describing women as “females” gives them the ick, but there were some other pretty rogue sex words in the comments worth highlighting here, too: “pink taco,” “clam,” “poop shoot,” “starfish,” “mommy milkers” and “fuckstick.”

Words like “moist” and “juicy” — specifically juicy asses – also caught some flak, with one user explaining his hatred of “juicy” butts: “Of all the things I love about women’s asses, having a liquid coming out of them is not one of them.”

So the next time you’re sliding into someone’s DMs, maybe just don’t mention how much you want to fuckstick their beef curtains.